My soul now to stand.

WOW!! Ever have a day where no matter how hard you try, you just can't put words to how you feel? Welcome to my life. Now more than ever I am having days where my heart just gets so ridiculously overwhelmed it's out of control. Some days are bad, some days are good, and some days are just impossible to explain.

I've spent the last few months obsessing over what I was supposed to do with my summer. I've filled out applications, chased down internships, looked at camps, ugh entirely too much stress to be healthy. Well today I randomly, out of basically no where, decided to go to overseas to do missions with the church I attend in Auburn. I heard about them a few weeks ago, but hadn't thought too much into it.

Today, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I went to get a passport. Like left campus, skipped class, and spent 2 hours getting everything done. Wow. I generally tend to over-think things. Like a lot. Today I just listened. After going to the courthouse for an application, Walgreen's for a picture, and the health department for a birth certificate, I made my way back to the courthouse to wrap things up.

As I was pulling in, The Stand came on the radio. "You stood before my failure. carried the Cross for my shame. My sin weighed upon Your shoulders. My soul now to stand. So what can I say? What can I do? But offer this heart, O God, completely to You." Wow. I sat in my car, belted the song at the top of my lungs, prayed that I could be strong enough to walk God's path and continue to give him full control of my heart.

When I went in to turn everything in, I have never felt more confident in a decision in my life. I have spent years trying to decide exactly where to take my life, only to finally understand that it's not really my decision to make. God has always known where I was headed. Blahhhh I wish I knew better words to explain how beautiful today was.

This post doesn't even have a legit purpose. My heart is just too full to contain. The heart that I have finally quit trying to control. The heart that I trying daily to offer completely to God. I know this will take a conscious and consistent effort to maintain, but I am so excited.

"So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all. So I'll stand, my soul Lord to You surrendered, all I am is Yours."