DOMA Questions

Purpose:

The social media uproar over DOMA has brought forth many interesting points and views in regards to marriage equality. Many of them have left me perplexed. I have a few thoughts on which I would like some feedback. I want to be able to better understand the arguments and therefore better able to understand all people who are concerned about DOMA. I think the argument can be broken town into a few smaller issues.

I will do my best to cite every statistic and Biblical reference I use. I will refer to argument sides as pro and anti for pro-same-sex-marriage and anti-same-sex-marriage respectively. These argument sides are not officially accepted by each side, but they are my interpretation. I would love some feedback on these.

My Background As it Relates to this Issue:

I am a heterosexual Christian and I am completely comfortable with both. Throughout my life I have dealt with people who questioned my sexuality. From school-yard bullies who flung hateful words because they were battling their own insecurities, to full blown rumors and prejudice, I have had a taste of what it is like to be gay in America, particularly the south. I am not gay, but have seen how hateful people can be when they believe you are different.

Through these negative, and often demeaning, experiences, God has allowed me to have an understanding of both sides of the issue and a genuine disdain for prejudice and bigotry in every form. I believe that God loves us all. I also believe that God hates sin. All of it. Not just homosexuality. I am a sinner, therefore, I am willingly vacating my position as judge and jury for people who sin differently than I do. (Matthew 7:3-5)

Issue 1: Separation of Church and State.

To be more accurate, this should be called separation of the State from the Church. The 1st amendment does not say, “no law shall have a religious basis.” It separates the State from influencing the Church, but not the church from influencing the state. It states: "Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof..."

Pro: Marriage is a spiritual institution. Any law prohibiting marriage equality prohibits the free exercise of certain individual's beliefs.
Anti: Marriage is a religious institution. Any law that affects marriage affects religion and therefore infringes on religions beliefs.

Fact: Atheists and agnostic individuals are allowed to marry. This in and of itself proves that our marriage laws are not strictly adherent to religious beliefs. On the other hand, forcing religious entities to perform marriages that defy points of their religion is also unconstitutional.

Opinion: I can think of a lot of marriages that are currently allowed that more greatly hinder the Kingdom. Just saying. I also believe that marriage is a religious institution. With that being said, I don't believe that government standings and religious standings have to be the same.

Issue 2: Equal protection under law.

In the 14th amendment we are granted equal protection and privileges under law. The portion of the amendment that is significant here states: "No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States;... nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws."

Pro: By denying the right of two consenting adults to marry, they are denied equal privileges.
Anti: All people have the equal privilege to marry a person of the opposite sex.

Fact: DOMA will ultimately decide the federal definition of marriage. Because same-sex couples are not currently recognized under the existing definition (even if they are considered married in their state) same-sex marriages are denied 1,138 federal rights that are given to opposite-sex marriages.

Opinion: The anti argument is weak and implies that homosexuality is a choice and those people have the ability to choose to not be gay thus affording them equal opportunity. Saying that someone can choose their sexual preference is like saying they can choose their hair color. Yeah, you can dye it and cover it up, but deep down you're born with what you're born with.

Issue 3: The “Sin Aspect.”

I have heard it argued that homosexuality is more offensive than other sins because Biblically it is considered to be an abomination against God. Thus making it more important to stand against homosexuality to protect Biblical marriage than other issues. Other sexual things that are considered abominations in the Bible: adultery (Jeremiah 13:27), lust (Jeremiah 13:27), prostitution (Jeremiah 13:27), sex outside of marriage (1 Corinthians 7:2).

Pro: Other sins are acceptable because the majority of people fall victim. Sins that fewer people deal with are therefore focused on. Thus creating a principle that is in its self unbiblical. (Proverbs 20:11)
Anti: In traditional marriages, an individual can turn from their sexual sins. In same-sex marriages, the sin is ongoing.

Fact: There are more important and significant wrongs happening in our wold that should strike more outrage and anger into out hearts than another person's sexuality. Just saying.

Opinion: If we were to keep all those who commit sexual abominations from marrying, then anyone who has had sex or sexual thoughts outside of marriage can not get married. Many in traditional marriages never turn from their sins either. We are all abominable.

Potential Solution:

To boil down the sides into two themes, they are generally: pro = equal rights, anti = sanctity of marriage. My solution is to separate the state from the church and provide equal privileges to all citizens.

Allow any two consenting adults who wish to be joined together to enter into “civil unions” that will be recognized by federal law in the same way that “marriages” are recognized today. All civil unions will have the same federal rights, regardless of the sexual orientation of the parties involved.

Marriage would no longer be defined by any government source and would be left up to the discretion of the institution performing the ceremony. This would allow marriage to be defined by religious bodies at their discretion.

An individual religious body could then chose to allow same-sex couples to be married, or they could choose to limit their marriages to opposite-sex couples. If you were homosexual and wished to be married, you could seek a religious body that allowed same-sex marriages. If you are morally opposed to same-sex marriage, you could seek a religious body that limits the definition of marriage. 

There are many denominational differences in existence already so I don't believe that this would fundamentally change the foundation of the Church. This solution would allow the same rights and privileges to everyone without forcing a set of beliefs onto anyone.

Conclusion:

These are just some questions and thoughts I have on the matter. Once again, I am very interested in any and all feedback. Comment here, on Facebook, text me, whatever. I am very interested in better understanding this issue. A quote I will end on, that I hope you all keep in mind whether it's in your response to me or in general discussion of the issue, is:

Our Culture has accepted two huge lies. The first is that if you disagree with someone's lifestyle, you must fear or hate them. The second is that to love someone means you agree with everything they believe or do. Both are nonsense. -Rick Warren

All Biblical references are taken from NIV and can be found at: http://www.biblegateway.com/

All Constitutional references can be found at: http://www.usconstitution.net/

ahhh

ever have those days where you just want to listen to angry music so loud that it would make your ears bleed? no? well we probably wouldn't be friends in real life. my life is absolutely amazing, don't get me wrong. but you know what? sometimes i get frustrated, angry, upset, etc.


today is one of those days. nothing bad has happened at all. really it's been a pretty good day. aside from that, sometimes it just blows my mind how the littlest of things can make such a big difference. i have made it my personal life mission to ensure that my "little things" for my friends are always the good kind. whether it's a txt message, ride home, help with homework when i have hours of my own to do, etc, whatever. it isn't difficult to make the little things be positive.


tonight i went to help a good friend with math homework. we worked on it for an hour. the whole time she was playing music she knows i hate. (tangent... music is my anti-drug, motivation, joy in life, etc... so it's a big deal to me) i was ok with this music cause i knew she was stressing over getting the math assignment done. when it was over, i asked if we could listen to something else. she hit the mute button and in the most obnoxious tone i have ever heard from her said for me to pick whatEVER i wanted. i picked up my stuff and left without a word.


she never said a single word of gratitude.


i realize the dramatic middle-schooly-ness of this. but what actually happened is not the point of this rant. the point is that things like this should never be an issue in relationships of value. this is not to say that there shouldn't be differences. that's dumb. but that you should make sure that your opinions don't make others feel uncomfortable. 


my generation absolutely fails at this. basically beyond belief. so many people are focused on themselves that they never stop to consider the people around them! i used to be that person. i wound up hating myself for it. i am a total loser and if this is something i can figure out, then why is it so difficult for everyone else!?!


it's so simple! congratulate people for jobs well done, thank people for helping you, recognize people for working hard, etc. it can be so so SO simple!! yet, it can make all the difference. i would bet every dollar that i will ever make on the fact that there is no one on this planet who you are enough different than that you can't find middle ground.


if you're listening to music, find a station you both like. or, hell, at least that you both don't hate. you may never know the difference that that one simple act could make in a persons life! making someone feel known is the most epic accomplishment you could ever make in their life. 


it's called being considerate. i dare you to try it.

The past few weeks have been absolutely too full to handle. Since when did mid-term week last 3 weeks? NOT OK!! Now that I'm finally through this round of exams, papers, presentations and essays my mind is able to be still for the first time in a while. What an amazing feeling! 


Tonight I've been thinking a lot about people. More specifically some new friendships I am forming. I've decided that my absolute favorite thing is when people get my jokes. Not when people think I'm funny. That's not the point. When people actually understand points that I'm making based upon their understanding of me as a person. It makes me feel so known! 
.........
I'll finish this blog later....

Facts of Life

Here are the facts I have come to fully realize this week.....

1. TOMS are slippery and do very little to keep me from falling down
2. I'm still going to wear them as if it were my job
3. My best friend and I are perfect opposites
4. Key word in that is perfect
5. Nothing I will ever do will change how God feels about me
6. That is amazing
7. His grace covers me, especially when I don't deserve it
8. Which is all the time
9. I have amazing friends
10. I have an amazing family
11. If I could have conversations like the ones I had today, everyday, my life would be perfect
12. God places tangible things in our lives to allow us to more deeply feel his love through the outpouring of it in a community of his children
13. Loving people is good
14. Telling them about it is better
15. Showing them it is best

Study Break

Fact: studying for marketing is kicking my tale right now
Fact: elections week has been kicking my tale (and I don't even have to campaign this time)


Explanation: I chose sleep over class a few too many times 
Explanation: I see this as so much bigger than t-shirts and candy


In student government we are given an opportunity to have a voice that is louder than we will have at virtually any other point in our lives. A group of 25,000 is so much more easily impacted than a group of 310,779,000. This vote will directly impact our collegiate experience. Yeah, just it's 4 years (or 5 or 6 for some people) but they're a huge 4 years! 


My prayer this week:

Let the candidates that will best lead and serve be chosen. Let the individuals who have You and the Auburn students at the forefront of their hearts be the ones who are given the overwhelming opportunity of serving. Let them know that You are the reason they are allowed the opportunity.

It may seem like such a silly thing to be troubled over, but it has really been weighing on my heart. Maybe it has to do with being on the ballot tomorrow for a position that I have dreamed of for as long as I can remember. Maybe it has to do with knowing that there are so many others on the ballot who feel the same way. I think the biggest reason it's weighed so heavily for me is that for many, God has other plans for them.


Last night I sent in e-mails to the camps that I had applied to work with for the upcoming summer. I told them that after a tremendous amount of prayer I had been led to missions. I know this is where my summer is supposed to head, but I also know that I have never wanted anything more than to be able to share my love for Him with students. I was so excited for the opportunity to serve students, but God had other plans.


Don't get me wrong, I am beyond pumped about getting to go to Thailand, but my selfish heart is still a little torn. It's like getting a full tuition scholarship to the college of your dreams, then still being a little sad that you won't be at the university down the road with all your friends. After a conversation with a major candidate tonight, I've bee led to a new prayer for tomorrow:

Let those who aren't chosen to serve in the capacity in which they had hoped realize that it's all in Your hands. That you have a different plan for them that can be just a fulfilling. That they will find comfort in Your plan, and be willing to walk in it over there own. Be with them and help them to know that You love them more than the stars that You taught how to shine. Help them to see the windows opened instead of the doors closed.

For my Good

"Nothing can separate, even if I ran away, Your love never fails. I know I still make mistakes, but You have new mercies for me everyday. Your love never fails."

AHHHHHHHHHHHH what a beautiful day!! It blesses me beyond words to see people around me being bold for Christ!! Tonight at ONE, Wren shared a quote, "You are called to be obedient. You are not responsible for the response." I feel like so often people get caught up in being concerned with what the outcome of their actions will be that they're never brave enough to take that first step.


Last night I was at a Bible study where someone brought up that were we to be doing that (worshiping God and growing closer to Him in a public setting) in most other  places in the world we would literally be risking our lives. Wow. We are blessed to be in a culture that allows this freely. Not only allows it, but guarantees us that right. So often we don't walk in Him because we are afraid. I know I was definitely in that number for far too long.


We are afraid that people will judge us, that we'll be put down, that no one will be there to walk with us, the excuses go on and on. "You are called to be obedient. You are not responsible for the response." He doesn't expect us to control everything, He just expects us to listen.

"You make all things work together for my good."

Even if the outcome isn't what we expected, it will be what is good for us if we just listen to Him. Such a simple command. Listen. At times it can be so hard to follow. He has promised us that when we are obedient He will take care of us.

 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

It doesn't matter if no one follows us. Walk in Him and everything will work for our good. It may not always seem like it at the time. He has our entire lives mapped out and it will all work together for our good. So much comfort in finding that God has us safe and knows where our walks will lead!


Just listen. Be obedient. He will make all things work together for your good. He loves us. Period.

Time Management

I love listening to the rain. Admittedly, hearing it bounce off asphalt along with the sound of cars going by here in Auburn is not quite as relaxing as it hitting the tin roof along with the sound of crickets chirping like it would be at home. Every time it rains I miss my mom. Despite how amazing my week has been, I've felt a little freshmany through it all. Just a little homesick. 


I've been tremendously blessed to have amazing friends here who have become a family away from home. This week I've been too busy with all the new excitement that I haven't been able to invest in them the way I'd like. even with how full God has made my heart, I still desire to celebrate these new blessings with the people in my life he has blessed me with.


New goal for the week: make time for what is truly important. Namely: people who are important.